


But I like to think you hear me sometimes

by Fishandchickennuggetsplease



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Nana Rose saved Cheryl and it’s under appreciated, domestic Choni, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 08:07:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14516028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fishandchickennuggetsplease/pseuds/Fishandchickennuggetsplease
Summary: Oh she’d have so much to tell her Nana.________Cheryl reflects on her how life has changed for the better in so many ways.





	But I like to think you hear me sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> Nana Rose helped saved Cheryl and I couldn’t help but imagine the finer details of their relationship. I was listening to ‘Nana’by the 1975 when I thought of this idea, so the title and some ideas from this piece come from that song!

It’s been ten years. In someways, Cheryl feels a million years away from the 19 year old girl she was when she stood in the hospital with serious and apologetic man dressed in white telling her the news that her grandmother, her nana, had passed away. In other ways, it feels like yesterday.

They had lived together in Thistle House for those glorious years final years- her awful mother and uncle had finally left the place after her Carrie White esque stunt and it was just her and her Nana (and okay, Toni too.) Her Nana Rose had supported her in becoming a better person as she healed from abuse and fell in love.

Nana had always supported her, congratulating her on tests when her Daddy only looked at Jason's results and slipping her desert when her Mommy denied her it because she got mud on her shoes. Her Nana seemed to think she was deserving of some kind of happiness, even when Cheryl didn't believe her.

On days like today, she can’t help wondering what it would be like for Nana to walk in again to the room. She’d see very different surroundings to what she was used to- their brownstone in the suburbs of New York was filled with airy rooms and light coloured walls; framed photos on the mantle places (of Jason and Cheryl as children, of Veronica, Kevin, Cheryl and Toni on nights out, of their wedding eight years ago in riverdale, of Cecilia’s first grade graduation last summer); their six year old daughter’s art projects on the fridge. Most importantly, their house was filled with a happy loving atmosphere Cheryl had spent the last decade building. If she’d walk in again, she’d see a very different Cheryl, one who has grown out and grown up from ornate blossom furniture, shadows and grand staircases.

(Oh, she’d have so much to tell her Nana.)

Cheryl’s life is unrecognisable to the one she lived until she was 17, and even unrecognisable to the one she lived at 19 when Nana’s heart finally gave up on her long, long life. There’s so much to fill her in on, so many little moments of joy.

In her daily life, as a lawyer, a wife, a mother, she had no real time to mourn her old ghosts. But on days like today, she’s planning on watching a Bob Ross programme and playing with her hair like Nana Rose had done when she was little and her mother couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her child who was not Jason, even though she doesn’t really have the nails for it.

Toni and Cecilia had left for the park an hour ago, so she had around an hour of free time left. Time alone and time to think was rare these days, for better or worse, but Toni had given her a knowing look that morning and known to give her space. Years into their love, they could practically tell when the other would next draw breath, so of course Toni knew that on days like today she would just want to reflect on the woman who made sure she made it to 17. That’s another new thing in her life- Cheryl is a lot more empathetic, a lot more in tune with emotions. Softer, Veronica had said once in a late night conversation in her city apartment after she and Archie finally broke it off. She'd shrugged, simply saying that being loved unconditionally does that to a person. (She'd never been hard or cold-hearted with her Nana, and if Jughead was to write a novel of her life, she’s sure that’s some kind of metaphor.)

Of course, her sharp tongue still serves her well in court, but Veronica was, as she so often is, right- at home, with groups of friends, there’s very little trace of the HBIC left in her.

Friends. Until 17 Cheryl couldn’t have honestly said she had any to speak of, and now most weekends their house is overflowing with them- Polly, her new boyfriend and her niece and nephew, reaching their teenage years and trying desperately to turn their names into usable nicknames; Sweat Pea and Fangs, who toughened up their little girl a little bit while also treating her like a princess, because fear of Toni Topaz is not something you outgrow; Veronica and Kevin who bring takeaway and funny stories and a reminder that she is safe, a feeling she experienced for the first time in a truck speeding from the Sisters’.

It had been years afterwards when she and Tonihad finally started talking in detail about that night, and only then did she finally find out that Nana had rung the school and given Toni the vital information she used to find her. She had _crawled across the ground of their living room and faced uncle Claudius and rang the school._ She felt tears rolling down her cheeks at the thought that she never ever got to thank Nana Rose for the part she’d played in her rescue. When she was totally honest with herself, there was so much she’d never really vocalised. Like any genuine affection within the Blossom family, their relationship was hidden under layers and layers of silence and fear - they were both victims in that house after all- until finally they got rid of Penelope. Even then, the love between grandmother and granddaughter had been a quiet one, shown through gentle acts and kind smiles until the day she died. Still, maybe she should’ve told her old Nana all the words she’d never said in that tiny riverdale hospital. Nana had looked so small, somehow young in her immense old age. Her nails had still be the red that Cheryl had painted them the week before. She'd told her nana she loved her, but never said thank you. (thank you for treating Jason and I the same, thank you for accepting who I was, thank you for simply being there.) Her Nana had saved her life, and she pulls the throw from the sofa and wraps herself in it as she lets the reality of that situation settle over her once again.

Before she could spiral any further into regret and grief, the key turned in the door and a small bundle of brown hair and clip on fairy wings attacked her on the sofa. Her daughter’s round eyes stared up at her seriously and launched into a story about the squirrel that had been on the play equipment and that as terrorised her mama when she tried to chase it away. Cheryl feigned shock, turning to her wife who was packing some groceries and teasing her about being scared of squirrels. Toni laughed good naturedly and sat down with the two of them on the sofa carrying a tub of ice-cream from the freezer and three spoons. Cecelia looked shocked and decided to dig in before her mums stopped her, and there they sat until dinner, cuddling, watching the Disney channel and remembering her Nana in the best way she can these days- living freely in the way she couldn't as a child.

______

Sometimes, in the moments like these, she whispers a little message up to her in the hope she can hear it- _look, can you see me now? I'm happy. Thank you._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback is appreciated (also the name of Cheryl and Toni’s kid is from a fic by @coatlicue, go check it out too! :)


End file.
